Went out again...

Bored today. Got to see Chocolate though, which was the best part :D

But seriously... Mouse. I'm confused, I don't know what to do. Do I even like her that much? Maybe. But something is still bothering me. After town today, I decided with Jam, to meet new people. I'll cut off connection with the other girls, unless they really beg me to go out with them. Because I'm going to try to stop liking her. There's no point liking someone who won't accept you. I can tell because she just doesn't seem to be interested in starting a relationship. I have to ignore her from now, to take my mind off her.

I'll make some new friends, friends who I will have more chance with. It'll be hard, but I'm determined. I might sound mean because of this, but I don't think she even cares anyway.

I've had enough of cute innocent girls now, they are no fun. Me and Jam are gonna meet some hot sluts hopefully haha. I don't know why I'm thinking like this, it's all Mouse's fault! Don't really care what happens to her now. MESSED with my feelings so much, which really sucks.

This blog is probably really confusing so far, so I'm going to stop.

I'll let you know what happens later on, if anything does happen.

Last Prologue: Part Three

To this day, Jam and Mouse still aren't talking to each other. It doesn't really bother me as it gives me an advantage, but I know, even as I am writing this blog, that I am not being a good friend.

But things should be okay for now. Jam has found another person, she's called Pie. That's another story though.

A few days ago, I went out to town with my cousin Beef and met up with a good friend Purple. We were waiting at the train station for another friend, when I noticed a quite good looking girl. She was around my age, 16, and I said to Purple: Wow, she's fit!

What I didn't expect was that she'd walk right over!

Our other friend Grass pops up from behind her, and introduces her as his cousin Twirl. The day went ahead nicely. I tried to talk to Twirl, but she was so shy! But I was proud of myself. I'd spoken to her the most, probably even more than Grass did to her that day.

When we finished our dinner, we went outside and it was snowing!! Jam and Grass had already started throwing snowballs, and so everyone joined in. Twirl seemed particularly cold, so I lent her Jam's scarf and my gloves. I also tried to give her my jacket, but she refused. Our snowball fight took place all over the city! Our final battleground was in China Town, where we encountered some white kids. We were playing against them until they left. I had fun teasing Mouse by throwing snowballs in her face. She'd reacted by trying to throw some into my face, but missing.

We stopped when a security guard had told us we were all being filmed on CCTV, and walked off further down China Town. Mouse asked me to hold her stuff so she could have free hands to throw snowballs at people. It was then I found some sweets in my own bag, so I took them out and shared it with everyone. I offered one to Mouse but she hadn't any hands to take it, so she opened her mouth, beckoning me to place one in. I fed her a sweet. It gave me a warm feeling haha, some kind of strange fetish that should be tabooed. I was... satisfied. That was easily the best moment of the day. This is pretty recent stuff, and thus concludes my prologue.

Prologue: Two

So yeah, I'd asked her for a video chat, and she accepted. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it'd be. We were talking about random things, and it made me happy. She told me about how messy her room was, about all her favourite Chinese singers, about her dog and other random topics. I'd even sang a song for her, whilst playing the guitar. I'd almost forgotten about that time, but she remembered. Apparently, I sang Teardrops On My Guitar by Taylor Swift.

I felt that I was getting close with her.

Weeks later.. DISASTER STRUCK. It wasn't disastrous for me, but for Jam...

Somehow, the fact that Jam liked Mouse was let loose. Jam was out one day, with some friends, when this PR!CK called Pancake TOLD Mouse that Jam liked her. I wasn't there when it happened, but from the information I had gathered, things weren't good... Mouse wasn't talking to Jam, Jam wasn't talking to Mouse. Days after the INCIDENT had happened, I decided to talk to Mouse about it.

After a lengthy chat on MSN, Mouse told me she'd send Jam an apology text. To be completely honest, at the time, I was feeling extremely selfish. I didn't want them to make up. I wanted Mouse's attention. But I helped her. She'd sent the text, and the next day, everything was fine again. You don't understand how much it hurt to help them become friends again... I liked her that much.

But Jam was a good friend, I couldn't let him down. I kept giving him advice, and tried my best to help him have the courage to ask her out.

First Blog. Prologue: One

Okay, so this is a place where we just post our feelings and thoughts right?

Where to start...

EDIT: I decided not to use their real names, for respect.

The Prologue

Late August 2009, I went to a Youth Club with my good friend Jam. It was a Youth Club for young Chinese teenagers. When me and Jam walked through the door to the place, we encountered many Chinese kids our age. Some fit, some fat. Some short, some tall. I looked around to see if there were any good girls to perv on.

After a while, I gave up when I realized none had really reached my expectations. Jam and I got through the schedule for the day. We stole the food they put on the side, and at the end, we all chilled and played table tennis. I suck at that, so I just sat at the side, scanning around again. My eyes fell upon two girls in the corner, pretty short, and pretty... pretty.

One was wearing pink, and the other, blue. The one in blue caught my attention especially, she was really cute. Whenever I walked past them, I tried to act cool, pulling up my sleeves, messing with my hair etc...

Can't remember what exactly and how exactly it happened, but Jam, being super friendly and good at making friends, had started to go out to town with Butter, Stick and Mouse, girls from the club. Mouse... was the one in blue, the one I had my eyes on. I was invited out by Jam one week, and the three girls were there, along with Jam's cousin, Pom.

As the day progressed, I started to learn that Jam liked Mouse. And Pom liked Stick. I'd made myself think that I'd liked Butter, when in reality, I did not express such feelings. This was probably because I'd felt that there were 3 boys and 3 girls, so we must all pair up, right?

Jam and Mouse got along really well... I was only a bit jealous at first.. Jam did have an advantage. He did befriend them first. When me and Jam started to have heart-to-heart conversations about these things, I hid the fact that I also liked the same girl as him, and tried to support him the best I could.

Days and weeks passed, and I also got to know these girls better. I learnt that, Mouse was VERY good at killing conversations on MSN. When I found out Jam had been webcamming with Mouse, I felt pretty jealous... I asked her if she wanted a video chat.